Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
