ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
