I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
