I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
