There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize