I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
