So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
