Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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