It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
