Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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