You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
