So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
