what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
