69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
