I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
