Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
