I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
