I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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