You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
