I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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