Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Randomize
