So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
