I just gift wrapped bread.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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