I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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