Whod you bang
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
