he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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