OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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