So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
