A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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