No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
