She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
