We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
