Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
