its not stalking. its research.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
