How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
