You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize