Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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