nut hugger
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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