ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
