Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
