found the other keg... it's in the tree
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
