did you get engaged???
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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