her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
tell your sister to shave her snatch
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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