can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
