Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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