Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will be naked everywhere
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
