You made me cry and you don't even care
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Jerry, you need to find god
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
