Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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