Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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