one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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