Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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