ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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