just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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