u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
