She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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