I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
