I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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