you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
