I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
