whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
