You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize