apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I need to stop coming to work sober
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
