Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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