I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
even my farts smell like vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
