I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
