You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
