i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All the doctor said was why
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
