i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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