That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize