We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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