I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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