So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
