remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
ttyl tear gas
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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