so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
