Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
