She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize