I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize