I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
