If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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